My book has been edited and edited and edited and edited again, too many times to count. Two weeks ago I began to send queries out to literary agents. This step is both thrilling and terrifying. My work is out there in the world somewhere. In some cases it’s just a query letter. In other cases it’s the first few pages, chapters, etc. In yet more cases it’s the previous two plus a synopsis. Every agent wants something different and combing through all of their pages is a bit mind-numbing.
The point is that I took the next step and now starts a whole other waiting game. First I was waiting on myself to get up the nerve to do the thing I’ve always wanted to do. Then I was waiting on editors to get through my manuscript. Now I’m waiting to hear back from agents.
It’s actually kind of difficult for me to believe that I’m at this step. It’s been a long road of fighting myself to get here. Now my story is out there to about 14 agents so far and I’ll be sending it to even more than that. I fully expect, after having read blogs from other writers, that my book will be rejected multiple times. My thing isn’t going to be everyone’s thing and I get that. As an avid reader, not all books are my cup of tea. However, I know that I just need one yes to get my foot in the door and then I can go from there. I just need one person aside from myself to believe in me.
Like I said, this is exciting! And terrifying.
In the meantime I’m going to let go of the first book. Well, that’s my plan anyway. It’s hard to do, to let go of something you’ve worked so hard on and force yourself to quit nitpicking it to death. So yes, I’m going to try to let go of the first book and delve into the second, which is already started.
Finishing the first book, a book, any book, has done wonders for me. It’s positive proof that I can do this writing thing that I’ve always wanted to do. It’s made me believe in myself in a way that I’ve wasted a lot of time doing the complete opposite. Hindsight is truly a sledgehammer to the head, isn’t it? I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time doubting myself and being my own worst enemy.
Going forward, I’m going to try to quit doing that.
There’s that word again. I want to channel my inner Yoda and smash that word with a sledgehammer and replace it with the word do. Yeah, Yoda and Nike are definitely onto something. Just do it.