A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not in the branch, but in its own wings. – Anonymous
Over two months ago, I accomplished a dream that friends and family alike can attest has been a long time coming. I published my first book! It’s really a miraculous feat to finally get over yourself, all the fears and anxieties one has, all the what if’s of the unknown, to simply take that first step to do the thing, whatever the thing may be. It’s even more miraculous to see the snowball effect of that first, terrifying step into the oblivion of a dream.
The first installment of Ash’s story is out there. The second installment is complete and with my editor, hopefully ready to publish at the beginning of next year. I completed the third installment this week in an amazing sprint of words that, while currently a mess, will eventually be a full novel worthy of public consumption. The beginning of book four has been written. The words are pouring out of me at a rapid pace, and the dictionary has no options to express how good that feels, how creative I feel, how productive and accomplished.
Things are happening! Quickly. And also, not so quickly.
I posted a meme on my social media with the following words: We write down made-up stories to tell the truth we wish we could say out loud.
One of the coolest people I know texted me, referred me to the meme, and jokingly asked ‘What’s the lie(s) L.A. Goodman has to keep up? What’s her big secret?’ I laughed and replied, ‘Haha You caught me! I see aliens!’
Then, one of my dearest friends, someone who’s support of both me and Old Souls has been phenomenal, told me she could see a lot of me in the book. She pointedly told me that I’m Ash Bennett, the main character, and she’s someone who has known me long enough, and knows me well enough, to have said such a thing.
These two completely separate incidences got me thinking about this fantastical fictional world I’ve been living in and my relationship to it. And goodness, is it a relationship.
Ash Bennett has been a character percolating in my imagination for a very long time. The more he became a fully formed character, the more I began to see similarities between the two of us.
Just on the surface, we’re both OCD. We don’t like clutter, everything has a place. We need space to breathe and moments of solitude to recharge for life and the living of it, for the world at large. We both meet uncomfortable situations with the ofttimes inappropriate coping mechanism of humor and sarcasm. We both think we’re in absolute control of where we’re going right up until we find ourselves somewhere else entirely. Ash and I look for beauty in the world around us. We can be dark, but we still try to see the darkness through a glass that’s half full. We think twice before changing course. We don’t like change. We both love our people fiercely, although we don’t always know how to show it. We try, and sometimes that’s all we can do.
Most importantly, we’re dreamers, seeing things as we wish they could be, rather than as they are. In a world that likes to fit people in molds and boxes, in a world that wants a label and a definition, both Ash and I cannot be pinned down. We’re too complicated for that, too complex.
I love writing Ash Bennett. He’s helped me find courage I didn’t have, accept faults I’ve always been too hard on myself over, release my tight grip on control over certain things, embrace those dark parts of me that society wants to put a label on, and love myself a little more than I did before we met.
It thrills me to no end to know that some of y’all out in the world love reading about him. Just wait until you see what happens next!
Yes, I did just clap my hand over my mouth to keep from spilling. Well, I can say this: Gandalf is still a badass. We should all be like Gandalf.
Love and light!
L.A. Goodman
Paperback: https://amzn.to/3sf7xwy
eBook: https://amzn.to/3aDvtUk
bookmarked!!, I love your blog!